Less Than Four...

Less than four weeks until baby B #3 makes his arrival! The induction will most likely be scheduled the last week in April unless he decides to come early on his own (not holding my breath though!). I have spent the last several weeks in full throttle get ready mode ... antique mahogany twin beds for Hampton and Carter's "new" room (although C will continue sleeping in the nursery until I move the baby out of my room), closet shelving built for additional space, newborn clothes unpacked, all closets and dressers cleaned out (including ours!), laundry room and pantry cleaned out, linen closet cleaned out, kitchen cabinets and fridge deep cleaned, baby books finished for the two oldest, pictures organized, lists made, ETC.! All of the cleaning out was to get rid of the clutter (which drives me nuts) and to make additional space for this new little babe. And now I can breathe a bit easier, haha.

I have a few things here and there to finish up, but for the most part ... I'm feeling prepared. My brother and sister in law are due mid April with their first baby so I had to have a plan in place if I go into labor early and my parents are in TN! So fun thinking of these two little boy cousins being so close in age ... all of my cousins growing up were either older than me or much younger than me so I don't really know what it's like, but I do know that these boys are going to have so much fun together.

Biggest news in the getting ready for baby department is that Paul is on his way home as I type this (from a dealership in Cocoa Beach) with a honda odyssey. A mini van. And yes, I have to keep repeating this over and again in my head. I'm about to be driving a mini van. The one thing I swore (just like all who have gone before me have sworn) that I would never drive. But then we up and had three kids in three years, and even though I fought the inevitable tooth and nail up until this week ... after polling, researching, test driving, Dave Ramsey-ing the heck out of this decision ... here we are. Paul informs me that this is for a "season" ... a season when we need automatic opening doors and a cooler in the console (cold bottle, anyone?!) and I just laugh. Because I know he's right and I also know I'm in the thick of said season. Cheers to the mini. And to all of the tricked out features it comes with to make moms who said "never, ever" feel like that they just might make it through :)

Thirty Weeks

Thirty weeks pregnant with baby #3 today and formally diagnosed with gestational diabetes today. I had it with Hampton, did not have it with Carter, and here we are again. Hormones are a strange, strange thing. I cried for a solid hour after I got off the phone with the nurse and then pulled myself together. Life moves on ... just praying that God continues to protect this sweet baby and keeps us both healthy until delivery.

Due to having diabetes again, I will most likely be induced a week prior to my due date which moves me up to the last week of April ... nine weeks away (!!). We are moving Hampton and Carter into Hampton's room (twin beds) and I need to reorganize the closet space between the boys, but other than that ... we're ready. We even (95% sure) have a name for this sweet boy. Carter's name wasn't totally decided until the delivery room so I'm counting this as a victory. I'm still feeling pretty good ... just tired more in the afternoons/evenings and the sciatica is creeping back in, but considering I'm up and running all day after two other little people, I feel good!

Baby #3

Today I am twenty-three weeks pregnant with our third, precious baby boy. I found out I was pregnant the day after I returned from my end-of-summer trip to Knoxville and when Paul brought the pregnancy test in from the bathroom with a look I'll never quite forget, we proceeded to sit at the kitchen table and stare holes in each other's heads for the next hour. I laugh out loud every time I think about it :) We spent the first half of 2015 with a very colicky (crying non-stop baby) and the middle part was filled with my dad's recovery from a near fatal heart attack and torn retina (which sent Paul into work around the clock mode) ... and so being that we were just coming out of those seasons .... a pregnancy so soon after our last wasn't quite on our radar, but you know what? It was totally on God's. After thinking for a few years that we would settle with two children, I can't quite explain the joy in my heart knowing that there will be three. We aren't moving any time soon (or adding on an additional kid's bedroom anytime soon) and my suv isn't quite big enough for three baby carseats in the back, but these are all small potatoes. If I've learned anything in life ... it's don't sweat the small stuff. I remember that one of my great grandmother's was born in a sod house on the Oklahoma prairie, one in a one room fort used to protect against indian invasions, one in the inner city to immigrant parents ... you get the idea. We'll make it. God is the giver of good and perfect gifts ... and we are so thrilled about this sweet baby!

The fall was spent in survival mode ... I started taking zofran between 7 and 8 weeks because I was so, so sick. People have asked if I was more sick with this pregnancy and the answer is no ... I felt the same with all three ... the difference being: with a two year old and almost one year old, I couldn't just stay in bed or hovered over a toilet. The morning I was trying to get Carter his milk, while holding him, while Hampton was calling out for more milk, and I was throwing up in the sink ... all at the same time .... was my last straw :) I was on the medicine by the end of the day! But like all of my pregnancies, as soon as it appears on the day I'm six weeks ... it's over by 12 weeks.

We found out with Hampton (that he was a boy) around my 16/17 week pregnant mark, decided to wait until Carter's delivery and birth to find out his gender, and decided to go ahead and find out the gender of this baby. When we realized my 20 week ultrasound would be scheduled the week of Christmas we decided to have the tech wrap it up and we would open it on Christmas day with our families. I have no idea "how" I knew other than to say I just knew, but with all three ... from the very beginning ... I knew they were boys. Growing up, I felt sure that I would be a boy mom. Maybe it's because I never had a sister?! And then with each pregnancy, which have all felt the exact same, I've thought from day 1 .... "boy." I am so excited for the three of them to grow up so close in age (all within three years) and Paul's excited that we won't be paying for any weddings, HA! Needless to say .... opening that envelope on Christmas and hearing "it's a boy!!!!" was an amazing moment.

This pregnancy has been hard in that I've been more tired, sciatica, etc. but I also feel like it has been my easiest because ain't nobody got time for that! I fall into bed at night suddenly aware of the exhaustion and pain, but by that point ... I'm asleep :) Silver lining?!!

So excited for a spring baby! May 5th is our due date (happy cinco de mayo!). Let the good times roll ... and snakes, snails and puppy dog tails!

For Carter ... The Day You Were Born

Mothers may want to find room to breathe, to weep, to panic.

But they don't want it to end--this delivering, shaping,

cheering, loving, bringing life into the world.

-Lisa-Jo Baker-

Carter Paul Bruce, you were due on Friday, November 21, 2014, but I felt you coming long before that day ever arrived. For weeks before your arrival I had contractions each night and felt every time that (surely) we would have a baby before dawn ... and yet as another sun would rise, my contractions would die down and I would go another day on little sleep. Your dad and I waited for nine months to find out your gender because we wanted a surprise babe. I surmised that we already had all of the major baby items, and if you turned out to be a girl, you would need clothes, but if you were a boy ... we would be set. Every person guessed who and what you would be, "girl", they said, "pink!" ...

But in my heart ... I knew the entire time I carried you that you would be a boy. "Blue," I said. I could have been wrong, easily, as there's a 50/50 chance of having a boy or girl ... but with you ... I just had this feeling, I just knew. We painted your little nursery green and used Hampton's white nursery furniture and bedding and I separated out all of Hampton's newborn clothing that could have been considered "gender neutral" to wash and hang in your closet ... and we waited.

Seeing that you were our second baby I also "knew" that you would come on your own, and early. I told myself this for nine months (as I didn't want an induction) ... so imagine my surprise when the week of your due date rolled around and Dr. Hunt said that he would induce the next week because it didn't look like I was progressing ... and he wanted you here before Thanksgiving weekend. We set the induction for Tuesday, November 25th (your uncle Mark's 30th birthday) and I began praying (and begging others to pray) that you would arrive before the scheduled induction. I felt sure you would at least arrive before your due date, so I prayed, googled "ways to naturally induce labor" around 756 times, and did jumping jacks in my bathroom while no one was watching. I also slept less and less (due to contractions) and felt myself becoming a hormonal wild woman. I was mostly just exhausted, but I'm pretty sure the hormones weren't helping the situation either! Regardless, I say all of this to say that when Saturday rolled around and your due date had passed me by, to put this mildly, I nearly lost my mind. I paced, I cried, I ran laps around our house ... and I prayed some more. Turns out that lack of sleep can make you nearly certifiable. Who knew ... !

Because it was the week of Thanksgiving Mark and Kasey arrived from Nashville that Saturday as did Grammy and Poppy (in anticipation of your upcoming induction). Every one was chomping at the bit to meet you and I received texts and emails and calls on what seemed like an hourly basis ... "baby yet?" they all said in one way or another ...

That evening we watched the Mississippi State game and I ate the remainder of a Publix turkey sub with extra black olives that I had gotten for lunch earlier in the day. And drank eggnog. I sat in the rocking chair that has been in our family for generations, and no telling how many expectant women and mommas rocking their babies have sat in it too, and rocked away. And at 8:30 p.m. the contractions began ... like they always did about that time of night. This night, however, I could already tell they were going to be different. They started off with more intensity and I kept having to stand up and walk around when they would begin. This went on for a few hours and then tapered a little bit, so at 11 p.m. your dad and I went to bed to try and rest in case this was, in fact, going to be the night. I slept for almost an hour and woke up to a contraction wrapping around my stomach toward my back. I stayed in bed for about two hours timing contractions on my phone app and then knew that this was it. I got up and started doing random things ... putting Hampton's breakfast out for the morning, cleaning, stopping to breathe through contractions, packing last minute things in my suitcase. I woke your dad up at some point and said that this was it -- but that we were not going to the hospital until I was ready to go.... I had not gone into natural labor before as I had been induced with Hampton so I really had no idea when to make the call to go to the hospital, I just knew that I would know when it was time. And I didn't want to feel any pressure to go until I knew it was time to go.

I called my mom around 5 a.m. and told her that we would be leaving for the hospital soon and to get ready. She was so excited! We woke up Grammy and Poppy a little later and told them too. There was an excitement in the air, but I was in and out of pain and trying my best to focus. We left for the hospital around 6:30 a.m. and called Mary to tell her we would let her know once I was admitted so that she could travel from Tallahassee to document your birth. Half way to the hospital, at about 25th Avenue, my contractions slowed down and I remember thinking to myself that if I needed to demand that they let me stay at the hospital ... I was up for the task.

We arrived at the ER and I declined the wheelchair. I opted to walk down the the halls and up to labor and delivery carrying my pillow and stopping several times to breathe. We got checked in and nurses Kimberly and Theresa hooked me up to monitor my contractions ... they were fairly steady but had definitely decreased in intensity. They checked me and I was 2 cm. Theresa said that there was a chance I might not be in labor. I instantly felt a lump form in my throat and tears well up in my eyes, but they told me to drink a huge cup of water and they would go and call Dr. Hunt. They said that the water would do two things, space my contractions out if I wasn't in true labor or do nothing if I was in labor. I chugged the water quickly and when they came back and checked me again I was at 4 cm. I started crying immediately. It was the greatest sense of relief that I can't begin to describe to know that you were finally on your way. That I wouldn't be going home or going any more crazy (haha).

That this day was going to be your birth day.

I believe it was also around this time that I texted Elissa and Jill. We had all been pregnant for nine months together and your friends (John Martin and Georgia) had both arrived a few days prior. They had been cheering and praying me to the finish line and I had to let them know that hooray - today (!) was the day!

Because I was already at 4 cm but my contractions were in and out of intensity, at 8:30 a.m. Dr. Hunt ordered pitocin. I wasn't thrilled about the pitocin but I knew that I had gone into labor on my own and I had a feeling it would be a different experience than the first time around -- and it was.

At 9:25 a.m. Honey arrived. I sent a text to both my mom and Kathy (breathing coach extraordinaire) after the pitocin had been ordered and very lightly told them to GET there. Pitocin and forgoing an epidural can work, but you need a strong support system! About 30 minutes after my mom Kathy arrived and at 11:11 a.m. Dr. Hunt broke my water. At 11:27 a.m. I got on the birthing ball to try and relieve the pressure of the contractions but that didn't last long ... they were coming hard and fast and I ended up crawling back into the bed within mere minutes. A little after noon Mary arrived and Dr. Hunt checked me again ... this time I was 5-6 cm and 90% effaced. He said the baby would arrive around mid afternoon. Kathy thought more around 4ish than 2ish and I remember thinking that if I had to do this pain for four more hours...oh my.

My labor progressed rapidly from 1-2 p.m. Grammy and Poppy, Grandmommy, Granddaddy, and Mark and Kasey were all hanging out in the waiting room and Mary was back and forth documenting. Your daddy, Honey and Kathy were in the delivery room with me.

Transition happened very quickly and at one point I got the wild animal look in my eyes. I was hot and shaking and sweating and trying to get my socks off as quickly as possible. No one ever has to tell me when transition starts, I knew from my birth experience with Hampton that the second I want to start throwing my clothes off ... transition is near. Within 15 minutes I went from about an 8 to a 10 and at some point during all of this, grabbed hold of Kathy's scarf around her neck because the pain was maxing me out. I may not yell or scream or say anything when I'm in labor, but I don't really have to ... pretty sure the experience is written all over my face.

I hadn't slept well in weeks and had been laboring for hours ... and I started to reason with myself that I needed drugs. OH MY GOSH I NEEDED DRUGS. But ... I knew that that thought process meant you were nearly there. I remembered from the first time around that just when you think you can't do natural labor any longer, you're almost to the end ... so with whatever strength I had left ... I held on. To Jesus, to Kathy's scarf, to whatever person's hand was around that I could nearly break in two with the strength of my own.

Sometimes, and this is a lesson for all of life: the only way through is through. So I breathed and focused and tried not to come out of my skin (because at some point in transition this is exactly what you feel is happening ... like you want to jump out of your own body and run the HECK away from it).

Dr. Hunt went to the waiting room to get your dad (who had gone to see all of the family) and told him that I would be pushing in about 15 minutes. Paul immediately came back to the delivery room and imagine his surprise when he walked in and I said, "I'm pushing - my body is pushing this baby out." Dr. Hunt was right behind him, took one look at me and didn't even wait for the nurses to start prepping the room for delivery - there just wasn't time. In a moment of sheer panic, I screamed out, "camera!!" because I wanted the moment you arrived - the surprise we had all been awaiting - to be documented. He scrubbed himself up and said, "one good push Heather, with this next contraction ... and this baby will be out."

Your dad grabbed my hand, and with my mom looking over my shoulder, I pushed once ... and Dr. Hunt said, "I've got it from here..." He delivered the head and shoulders and then pulled you out and that moment we'd been waiting for was here .... at 2:17 p.m. that Sunday we heard ... "IT'S A BOY!" You were born with a full head of dark hair and the chubbiest cheeks. Your dad cut the cord and then you were whisked away for screening and a bath. I watched you from across the room the entire time. You weighed 7 lbs 10 ounces and you were 19 1/4 inches long. Carter, I fell in love with you the second I saw you. You looked like Hampton in many ways, but you had your own little look too.

Every time a baby is born at the hospital a lullaby song is played over the intercom. Your family heard it when it began playing in the waiting room and knew you had arrived! Honey texted Granddaddy from the delivery room and he let the waiting room know that you were here, healthy, and a boy!

Your dad and I had discussed boy names for months. We had a truck load of girl names, but no boy names. The only name we could agree on was Carter ... but a middle name was up in the air until two weeks before you were born when we sat down and didn't let ourselves get up until we had three solid choices for a middle name. We didn't choose one that night, but we had three that we agreed on and "could think about until you arrived..." I knew that your dad really wanted you to have the middle name Paul, but I hadn't fully committed ... until you were born. You were a few minutes old and the pediatric nurses were taking care of you and one asked your dad what your name was. He answered, "Carter ..." And without even a thought I called out from across the room, "Paul ... his name is Carter Paul." I winked at your dad and he immediately began to cry. It was the sweetest moment.

Soon after you were all cleaned up, wrapped in a blanket and a pink and blue striped hat had been placed on your head, your fan club came filing in to meet you ... there was lots of laughter and tears, "look at all of that hair!" and "that was fast!!" ... your aunt Kasey and uncle Mark nearly missed the whole event as they had stopped at Sonic to get me some crushed ice thinking that it was going to "be awhile." About twenty minutes after they arrived at the hospital, so did you :) I will say that of all the things I know ... I know that you and Hampton are loved so very much. There was so much joy in the delivery room that day, so much emotion and gratitude. We were all thrilled to meet you! Grammy and Poppy asked me what I wanted to eat and I decided on Five Guys ... so back they came to the delivery room with a cheeseburger and french fries (which I subsequently devoured). I also drank about 190 cranberry and apple juice cups before leaving the labor and delivery floor and by the end of my stay in the hospital, I'm pretty sure I'd had at least 500. I. was. so. thirsty.

After our hospital suite was ready, they wheeled us over and we settled in. Your dad left a little bit after we got settled and went to get your big brother (who had been hanging out with aunt Kio that afternoon). Oh my heart ... Hampton was so proud to meet you. We had been reading him his "big brother" book for months and when he came in he pointed to you and said, "baby" and "Carter." He only stayed for a little while, but he kept coming up to the side of my hospital bed and looking at you and pointing. And blowing you kisses. So sweet. We had the kindest nurses and after every one left (even your dad to go get Hampton settled in for the night at home with his grandparents), Mary stayed with me. Note: you will need friends in your life that are more like your family than friends - just like your aunt Sister. The second she knew you were on your way, so was she. Make it a point to surround yourself with people who hold you up and are there for you, who make you better. Aspire to be that same type of person. It's a lifelong blessing. Dr. Steph came up to meet you too as one of the nurses thought she had detected something not quite right with your heart. I felt a lump form in my throat the second I heard this news, but Dr. Steph left her dinner party and came right up to check you out ... and you were perfect. Thank you, Jesus.

After your daddy came back to the hospital and Mary went home and the nurses heard that I hadn't slept in ... well, awhile .... they decided to take you for a few hours at a time so that I could sleep in between feeding you. I woke up the next day feeling like a brand new person; except for the fact that I hadn't showered in nearly 48 hours, had gone through childbirth, and had sweated half the night due to my hormones regulating - and desperately needed a bath. After taking a scalding hot shower, however, I was truly a new person.

I held you so much that day and the room was a constant flow of traffic ... friends and family members who came to meet you. Dr. Hunt and Donna, Dr. Steph (who also came to perform your circumcision - yelp!), Kathie and Mary, Kathy, Phyllis (who came bearing a vanilla buttercream cake from Betty Cake and a huge pint of chicken salad ... and thank goodness because the beef stew brought up from the hospital kitchen just wasn't going to cut it, yikes), Ron and Teddi, aunt Jane, our small group from church, aunt Kio and uncle David and Liza, Ms. Amanda, Kristie came to take newborn hospital photos and Shana brought Brantley with monogrammed onesies for you (and Hampton's favorite Trader Joe's abc cookies). Honey arrived early that morning and sat next to my bed all day long visiting with all of the family and friends ... she later told me that it was one of her very favorite days. I knew exactly what she meant, as it was one of mine too.

On Tuesday we got your discharge papers (and mine) and in the early afternoon we were given the green light to head home. It felt so different than when we left the hospital with Hampton. I felt much less anxiety, my body felt better (which is a combination, I think, of the physical - your body has already been through this once ... and mental - you know the rigors of childbirth and recovery, and it's a little less overwhelming) ... everything just felt so much more relaxed. Honey and Mark and Kasey came up to help us pack up and get you all ready (in the same homecoming gown that Hampton used just last year). We wrapped you in my own hospital baby blanket as well as the white blanket that Honey brought all of us home in (and I also used for Hampton). I was filled with this mixed emotion of being so happy that you were here and healthy and that we were going home, and also this sadness that your birth was over. There's an intensity and beauty that comes with bringing a baby into the world and it's ... unmatched. That first time you hold something so precious and wanted and loved in your arms, the newness of life, the gratitude you feel in your heart, the adrenaline high of becoming a momma all over again ...... there's just nothing like it.

And it was so fitting that you came home to us two days before Thanksgiving Day.

Because truly ... our hearts were overflowing with just that.

Carter Paul, your story has only just begun. For all the days of your life, know you are loved far more than any words I could ever write here.

Two Weeks Notice

We are in full wait mode around here these days ... I was induced with Hampton at 39 weeks due to having gestational diabetes but since I am diabetes-free this time around, as long as everything continues to go well I will go into labor without pitocin. I don't know what it feels like to go into labor on my own so every afternoon and night when the contractions start to build I start to wonder, is it time? Not having had an epidural the first time around though, I do know what it feels like to be in true labor and I can tell you that with each contraction that comes and goes and doesn't become more intense ... it's not time.

For several weeks I was in full nesting mode ... organizing, cleaning, and checking off a mile long list of things I wanted to have done before this baby arrived. The list has now been checked twice, so aside from getting a little type A with keeping the house clean (just in case today is the day!) I'm trying to rest and sleep as much as I can, spend time with Hampton outside as much as I can, and be out and about with friends as much as I can.

I will be 39 weeks this coming Friday ... at my 38 week appointment there was no progress, but at my 37 week appointment I was 2 cm and +2 station, so I'm interested to see what we find out this week. It's all so mental (those numbers) because I know that the baby will come when he/she is ready to come ... but hearing that there's progress when you can't put on your own jeans, tie your shoes, and can barely shave your legs does do a little something for your overall life perspective :)

Mary and David were over last night to eat chips and salsa and guacamole and watch the Florida game and they watched me lick approximately 27 lollipops (my go to when contractions start to build) and throw back ice chips like a pro. Good times!

Pure Joy

My sweet friend, Kristie, of Pure Joy

Photography took these pictures of us

in my parents' rose garden and in the space

of yard where Paul and I had our wedding

reception ... I love them!

 



The Non-Nursery Fairy, Among Other Things

I am on the verge of so many things right now, yet none feel so pressing that I can't sit in bed for the entirety of Hampton's nap ... and write. And my house feels strangely cool today, I don't know if it's the overcast weather or what, but the only logical thing I can think to do is to get underneath covers with a hoodie on, light my sweet cinnamon pumpkin candle that Jess sent in the mail a few weeks ago, and be.

It happens every year and yet I still feel kind of tailspin mode when September hits. Summer feels so slow and sandy and pink nosed, and then there's fall - my favorite - but if it's anything, it's certainly not slow. I look in the guest bedroom nearly every day just to see if any progress has been made by some imaginary nursery fairy ... and every single day I'm met with the same thing: boxes, half packed miscellaneous, and nothing. I was telling some friends at breakfast this morning (The Crazy Cucumber makes the best egg sandwich ever) that I feel like I should feel pressure to be doing more, but much like the nursery fairy does not exist .... either does my motivation.

I figure that at some point, I will get the nursery figured out and we will pick out a boy name (we have a girl name) and life will go on just as it has before, so why worry?

The joys of age and wisdom.

Currently reading: Forgotten God by Francis Chan for small group, Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker for my Tuesday night girls bible study, Wild by Cheryl Strayed for my book club, The Best American Travel Writing 2002 (Frances Mayes, editor), and The Mockingbird Next Door: Life with Harper Lee by Marja Mills.

On the agenda this week, among other things ... my 30 week appointment (and we're taking Hampton so that he can hear baby's heartbeat) ... a prenatal massage (hallelujah chorus) ... and making Katie's chicken pot pie for dinner (because what's more cozy and fall-ish?) ...

The Last 24 Hours

The days have been rather long lately ... but the last 24 hours have put me through the ringer.

Not even a week after I backed out of my garage and hit my grandmother's car (parked behind me) I went to bible study last night and parked in Alli's cul-de-sac like always only to have an older lady back out of her driveway and slam into the side of my parked car. What I know for sure? State Farm is loving us.

Got home from bible study and sat down on the couch only to have to keep standing up because I was in so much pain (abdomen and wrapped around my waist to my back). Given the fact that I made it through a natural labor and delivery, I'm fairly sure my pain tolerance is pretty high ... which is why I called my dr. early this afternoon. The pain was horrible and I knew it was too early and too much for me to just hope it would go away on its own. Once at the dr.'s office it was determined that I needed to go to the hospital for an ultrasound to make sure a placental abruption wasn't taking place (or anything else along those lines) ........ a few hours later, ultrasound was fine and I was sent home with orders to "rest." If I wake up tonight/tomorrow with the same amount of pain, I am to go back to the dr.'s office for blood work, etc. So thankful to God that the baby looked good on the ultrasound ... and praying we can get to the bottom of what's causing the pain.

Silver lining of the day? The results of my glucose tolerance test. After being told at 16 weeks that my sugar was through the roof, I went on the diabetic diet and got really strict with myself. I was so hoping to not have gestational diabetes with this pregnancy but there's a 60% chance of recurrence after having had it with a previous pregnancy. Not only are there higher risks for both mom and baby with diabetes but there's also a need for induction (to take the baby early due to high birth weight reasons) ... I was so disappointed to be induced with Hampton because I wanted to experience going into labor on my own (plus the fact that contractions are much more intense with the Pitocin making natural birth much harder). So all of this to say, miraculously, thankfully ... I do not have gestational diabetes in this pregnancy. I took the two-hour test yesterday and got the results while at the dr.'s office earlier. Major answered prayer.

Baby Update, Etc.

I had my 28 week appointment earlier this week (officially in the third trimester, yahoo!) and my stomach grew 8 centimeters in the last four weeks. I feel pretty good despite the insane amount of pressure I feel every time I turn over in bed, shift my weight, bend over, and walk. I'm told there's the first pregnancy and then every one thereafter ... ha! I've recently come out of denial that we're going to have another baby in a few months and have started trying to get organized ... so far, I've boxed and labeled all of Hampton's baby clothes and taken out all gender neutral onesies and gowns (read: yellow and green and white) to hang in the new nursery closet. When Hampton naps each afternoon (he sleeps 2-3 hours) I make myself work for the first hour and then rest the second-third. If I sit down right when he goes to sleep I'll never get up, haha. The progress feels slower as I can't get a lot done when he's awake these days (!!), but I'm getting there.

My grandmother came to hang with Hampton while I went to the doctor the other day and I pulled out of the garage and backed straight into her car. It was the first time in my life that I've hit a parked car and I just wanted to sit there with my head on the steering wheel and cry. Not the best start to the day! But, life is life is life ... and Hampton is obsessed with green beans and walks around saying, "gree BEAN gree BEAN" ... which makes even bad days a little sunnier :) His other new word this week? baby.

Looking forward to a long weekend with family and friends. Holly and I are taking the kids to Wild Waters on Saturday (look out wave pool!) and, hello, the start of college football is HERE. Praise Jesus.

A Little Bit Of Everything

I used to be really intentional about writing, but that was before motherhood hit and my brain did something strange, and on some days (a lot of days actually) it's just hard to find the words. The words are there, but so is the wildness of everything else spinning around and maybe I'm just too tired to find the words? Regardless, I'm trying. I write for therapy and for memories and to look back and say to myself, look how far you've come (and thank you God I've come this far) ... so onward and upward. Beach pictures and summer activities will get uploaded at some point, until then, here we go.

The last several weeks have (in a nutshell) looked kind of like this: I read the book Far Outside the Ordinary by Prissy Elrod. My friend Rian texted me and said that I would love it (it is a memoir after all) and next thing I knew, she had mailed it right to my doorstep. Friends that mail books are some of the best kinds of friends. And she was correct ... I loved the book and if I told you why I really loved the book it would give away the very best part, so that just leaves you to read it for yourself. But I recommend that you do, for sure. We have had loads of swim dates ... and had our last splash pad play group of summer this morning. On days we don't have swim dates, my grandmother and cousins meet us at my parents' pool and we swim for hours and eat popcorn and blueberries and Hampton squirts everyone with the hose and tries to throw rocks in when he thinks no one is looking. In other Hampton news, he has become the proud new owner of his first backyard fort (which he loves beyond words), and just several weeks shy of his 18 month birthday, has started to throw tantrums -- complete with high pitched wails and body going limp flailing. I'm nearly 25 weeks pregnant (baby is the size of a cantaloupe!) and feeling like I'm 45 weeks pregnant, so these, my friends, are fun times. In the last week our dryer went out, air conditioning went out, and toilet sprang a leak ... and Paul's grandfather passed away, so in the course of 48 hours we dropped him off at the Gainesville airport and he traveled to Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee, flew out of Memphis and we picked him up in Orlando. While he was gone, Hampton and I walked in from a swim date and a 4 foot long snake was (you CANNOT make this stuff up) dangling from my blinds in my kitchen. Long story short, the snake had come in the day before when my back door was left open (yes, it crept about for 24 hours before it was discovered---shudder) ... dad caught it (it bit him on the spot) ... Hampton's life was made as all he could say over and again was SssssssSSS ... and I very nearly went into preterm labor. So that was fun. This week I'm trying to shake the cold that Hampton had last week ... and have also started writing e-devotions for our church (daily devotionals via email) - the first one which came out today!

August already feels kind of blurry because I can feel fall ramping up all around me. Next on the reading list is Wild by Cheryl Strayed which my book club will be discussing in September.

Sheets Of Rain

This morning we woke up to sheets of rain ... I actually woke up around 4 (as insomnia is a somewhat given part of my pregnancy routine) and after counting sheep for a few hours, Hampton woke up. I made my coffee, got his milk, and moved zombie-like to the nursery to get him and start our day. The clock said 6-something and he was climbing the walls by 8-something. Hampton is a replica of his dad in that he likes to be out and about, all the time. Whereas a rainy day might mean my homebody loving self curling up on the couch and declaring victory, it's a prison sentence for my first born. Regardless, we made it through the morning and when the rain stopped after his afternoon nap we went to the park and walked for nearly two hours.

Luxury these days? After putting him to bed tonight, getting in the bath with a book, bubbles and my favorite herbal infusion tea (hibiscus, citrus, rose hip and mango). I sat there until the water turned cool and the ache in my legs from our two hour excursion (and numbness from sciatica) subsided. I'm sure I looked like a mangled up walker what with sciatica on one side of my body and my foot injury on the other (turned around after draining pasta last night and stepped on a drying rack that Hampton had pulled from a cabinet ... sending noodles flying in all directions and me curled in a fetal position with blood and everything else), but the rain left the clouds blocking the sun and the heat and humidity were nowhere to be found ... things you don't take for granted in a Florida July. So for two hours, we walked.

A Few Things ...

A few weeks ago Paul fell and thought he had bruised his elbow (badly) ... it stayed sore and although the pain scale got better, he went ahead and called his friend Ryan (a radiologist) yesterday and went in for an x-ray. Low and behold ... first break of his life. The bone in his arm is already beginning to heal, so he will be going to physical therapy for the next few weeks and the dr. taped it off. Yikes!

We went for our first ultrasound today (at almost 22 weeks) ... by the time Hampton was 18 weeks we had already had three ultrasounds, so I think we were both a little nervous in that the wait was longer this time around. We made it clear with the techs that we did not want to find out the gender this time around, and so we only saw pictures of the spine, arms and fingers (as shown below!), beating heart, and sweet little head (baby's mouth kept opening and closing!). When the tech first centered on the baby's face, the arms and hands were up like it was praying. The baby was highly active the entire time (also sticking their tongue out) and reminded me of Hampton in the womb ... I was thinking this might be our more laid back baby as Hampton is a BALL of constant energy, but I'm now thinking ... maybe not ;) The baby is measuring healthy and right on time and I am so full of gratitude for this sweet miracle.

Lastly, finished The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd last night. Cannot recommend this book enough!!!!!!! It was just amazing ... one of those that will always be on my list of favorites. Loved, loved it.

Friendship, Tums & The Salt Life

So thankful for this group of girls. Each of them has lived (at some point) in Tennessee or Georgia or Alabama ... met their husbands there, grew up there or went to college there, loved it there. Which kind of meets me in the middle. Because I loved it there too. And moving back to Florida was especially hard for me from a relational view ... because I wanted to take all of my friends back home with me (!). Yet tonight was a prime example of God showing up. Not just surrounding me with amazing women in another chapter and season of my life, but dang if He didn't transplant a bunch of southern girls to gather around the same table. It may seem a little silly, but for me, it's just another one of those hindsight moments. That God gets us in the small things. That He has surrounded me with people that I can do life deeply with again and again and again. Such grace.

I'm nearing twenty-one weeks (which means the baby is approximately the size of a carrot) and I'm reminded constantly that my body is no longer my own as I currently have a cirque du soleil acrobat in residence. We went to Latinos for dinner last night and I nearly swallowed an entire bottle of tums afterward ... oh my word. Heartburn is no joke.

We are leaving for a week at the beach tomorrow and I am pumped UP. Hampton and I have been counting the days together. Sand, sunshine, surf ... the salt life is the life. I plan on finishing a book that I've tried to finish reading for the past two months and I plan to start Sue Monk Kidd's The Invention of Wings (which has been on my bedside table for about as long) ... really excited to start it though, as The Secret Life of Bees (also by Kidd) which I read the month after we got married remains a favorite.

Life & Baby Update

We've had a great summer so far ... full of trips to the blueberry farm, a trip to the beach with our family {Hampton was a huge fan of the sand & surf!}, play group on Wednesday mornings at the splash pad, and pool time.

I am almost 18 weeks with baby #2 (who is currently the size of a turnip) and he/she continues to measure right on time, and heartbeat sounds good! The heartbeat was 138 at our first appointment and 145 at our second. We aren't finding out the gender this time around, so we're in for a BIG surprise come November!! At my appointment two weeks ago, my glucose level was pretty high, so Dr. Hunt asked that I begin metering my blood sugar again and put me on the gestational diabetic diet. I was a little bummed out (naturally) to learn this, but I know that I did fine last time by sticking to the diet, so I am trusting that God has it all under control. Not going to lie though ... giving up pizza and dessert and bread in general until November 21st isn't exactly my idea of really awesome :/

Some differences between this pregnancy and my first ... I was more intensely sick this time around, but the sickness tapered off sooner this time than with Hampton (around 10 weeks and was gone completely by 12, with Hampton I began to taper around 12 weeks) ... I feel much more tired this go around than I remember being with H, but am able to take naps every day (which makes all the difference!) ... I haven't gained as much weight as I did with H this early on (upside to an early second trimester diabetic diet) ... everything feels much more laidback this go around, I didn't touch caffeine when I was pregnant with Hampton, but a cup of coffee in the mornings these days is sometimes the only way I can get through (!), I don't really need to register for anything this go-around (except for a double stroller!) and Hampton's nursery will become the new baby's nursery (upside of doing things gender neutral) ... it just feels so much more relaxed, and I love that :)

Another Chapter ...

This was a sweet, sweet mother's day for me ... enjoying the stage Hampton is in so very much and  I am just beginning the second trimester with our second baby. We found out in mid March that we would be expecting a new little bundle in late November of this year and we're so grateful. I spent much of the last several months very intensely sick (as in not getting out of bed or off of the couch for days - weeks - on end), but God gave me strength and I kept my nanny's life motto at the forefront of my mind each day, this too shall pass. And it did. My mom was amazing and helped to corral Hampton while Paul was working and when he wasn't working, Paul Bruce was my everything and then some ... serving us tirelessly and never complaining. He makes me better.

On the 12 week mark (to the day), all food aversion and throwing up and thoughts of throwing up and 24/7 all out nausea ... ended. What a wonderful day that was :)

This morning as I sat in church with my husband to my left and my mom to my right and the sweet baby whose heartbeat we heard for the very first time last week inside of me, my heart overflowed. Motherhood has been the sweetest gift I have ever received. Aside from the grace and mercy of my salvation, there has been nothing sweeter. I thank God every single day.

Happy Mother's Day ~

This Is Grace

It's still a little surreal to me how quickly my life changed around this time last year. I was pregnant,

but didn't know it yet ... this picture was actually taken a few days before I found out.

As a general rule, change is something I like to ease into ... it usually comes as a hard knock for me, so I like to dip my feet in first. And yet just as I was deep into another set of life plans (which, among many things, included when I would get pregnant) ... I got pregnant.

As I have found over and over and over, and feel for sure that at some point God must be thinking, will you (please) go ahead and get this already? Hindsight is 20/20 ... and the best and most beautiful things in life simply cannot be planned. This is why we have words like hope and faith; we need these tangible, God-breathed ways to hold on ... as we journey. We need to remember that though the plans in our hearts may be many, it is the Lord's purpose that prevails ... and His plan is to prosper us, to give us a hope and a future.

I mused over all of this as I carried my sweet boy around our backyard earlier this evening. He loves to be outside so much, and the air was warm and thick as I carried him around pointing out trees and leaves and our very in bloom hydrangeas. I kissed his head and cheeks and thought back to this time a year ago ... and how I had no idea that it would soon become the best and most beautiful year of my life.

A life that feels so undeserved, but for grace.

This is grace.

More Baby News ...

Thirty-nine weeks and one day = unbelievable. I think way back to June when I first found out I was pregnant and it feels like a lifetime ago. I always thought nine months was a long time to be pregnant (and don't get me wrong, at this point it's feeling really long), but it also makes complete sense. It's not just a physical process, but very much an emotional and mental one. You need time to wrap your heart and arms around everything taking place and everything that will take place.

Because I have gestational diabetes, my doctor thought it would be best to go ahead and induce labor on Tuesday, February 19th. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon and I will either go straight to the hospital for pre-pitocin meds (if it's determined that I need them) or wait and go to the hospital on Tuesday morning (if it's determined that I don't need the pre-pitocin meds). He could still come today or tomorrow on his own, but if not, he's definitely coming on Tuesday :) I've spent the last several days doing next to nothing ... just resting, spending time with Paul, taking really long baths ... and getting myself geared up mentally for the soon-to-be task of labor and delivery.

So excited to meet this baby boy!

Baby B Update

It's so hard to believe that it was four weeks ago this morning that we left Memphis. The last four weeks have been some of the craziest ever, but I'm happy to say that life is beginning to feel settled again. I have unpacked and organized and decorated myself to the finish line. So happy.

After months of not being able to sleep much at night (waking up at 2 and up until 5, etc.) I have slept for the last week and a half or so like my life depended on it. And taken naps. And spent many mornings in my chair in the sunroom reading and drinking hot tea and taking in the last of the calm for awhile :) It has really been a gift after so many months of exhaustion, injury, moving, goodbyes, etc. My emotional, mental and physical well being now feel restored and ready ...

At my dr's appointment this last Tuesday, I was told that I probably wouldn't make it til my due date (February 23rd) ... I was having contractions, baby was very low, etc. All of that to say, he seems pretty cozy and content to me. I have contractions off and on, but nothing that I have been able to time. I am scheduled to be induced on the 19th if he hasn't come yet due to the gestational diabetes. Praying that he comes naturally, but as long as he is healthy ... I don't really care how he gets here. Life can't really be planned and babies come when it's the right time ... so we'll see!

Lakeside Baby Shower

 

My beautiful Ocala shower was

given by dear family friends and

held at Lorraine's on the lake 

So many sweet details, so many talented hostesses!

 

The fairy godmother's gift with the mother's

handwriting :) 

 

As the guests entered, they were given the choice

of water or a peach mimosa ...

 



 

Honey B is very excited about

her first grandchild :) 

the invitations were beautiful!

 



 

...as were all of the views! 

Delicious quiche and salad and cheese grits

served as the main fare for the brunch ...

 



 

along with many other tasty treats! 

Baby B has many a treasure from all of his showers!

 



 

friends we've had for many years came to celebrate

 

 

all three of my dad's sisters were

able to come, one from Alabama,

one from Georgia and one from Florida!

 



thank you to the many who made the day so

memorable ... Kathie, Holly, Lorraine, Donna,

Leighton, Katie, Renee, Mary Caroline and Kathy

 



...and a party isn't a party without all of the

ruffles in attendance :)

 



 

typical

 

 

...and making fun of maternity

sessions gone wild ;)