Sick Kids & Marriage

Currently ... miraculously ... both boys are asleep. It's been a rough few days around our house. Carter got his first round of immunizations and Hampton came down with a case of the two year molars and a sore throat/cough virus all in the same weekend. At some point in all of the giving of tylenol and advil, I forgot C's morning reflux meds ... so that was fun! We left the dr.'s office on Friday afternoon and were back early Monday morning. I'll spare the details of the in between, but it involved a whole lot of crying, lots of midnight car rides, and verrry little sleep for all of us. It also involved trying to give oral meds with syringe to an almost two year old, which, you know ... is more like trying to wrestle a raging 500 lb bull to the ground. And then once you get it to the ground, you still need to pry open the bull's mouth with your bare hands. And shoot down the meds. At 2 a.m. YES PLEASE. Sign me up ;)

Raising two under two is the hardest job I've ever had, and for sure it's the most exhausting - emotionally, mentally, physically. Some days I feel so isolated ... like I'm being held hostage in my own home by two babies. Other days I isolate myself ... because I'm too tired to actually muster up the energy to do anything about it.

I'm learning to depend on the Lord in a lot of new ways these days. Paul calls it, "just get me through the next ten minutes..." mode. So sometimes my prayer life looks like this: "God. please. help. me."

What am I thankful for in all of this wild? My husband ... who selflessly pours himself out for me, and for our family. Sometimes we look at each other late at night or early in the morning or mid-afternoon and ...... laugh. He says to me, often, there's no one else I would rather do this with. And those words aren't spoken over candlelight and fine wine (well, OKAY, sometimes the wine) ... they're usually spoken in the midst of complete and utter bedlam ... when everything is off the chain and breaking b-a-d. But I love that. I love that we've both repeatedly chosen each other, chosen our marriage, chosen to fight through the good, bad, and ugly in so many seasons during the last 12 years. It's so much of why in the midst of mayhem, we can laugh.

Because we know it's for a season. And there's no one else I would rather do this with.

A Decade Later ...

Ten years ago today, Paul and I went on our very first date.
We have now spent an entire

decade of our lives ... together.
Sometimes I feel as if my life really began when I met him ...

I don't remember as much before him,
and I think it's because of how much (more) fun life

became once he was in it, the memories are all full color.
All of these years later, happiness

knows no bounds. This photograph of the three of us?
Love personified.
There is no way to know

what's to come in life, there is no way to see our future,
but as I look back to that day

ten years ago, I'm so thankful that this ...was mine.



And Then ... This

 

Just when you think you couldn't love your husband more ...

this happens.

To The Baby Daddy, With Love

Paul,

Thank you for taking the utmost care of me these last nine months. Thank you for holding my hand and praying over me and for this sweet baby in the mornings, thank you for coming to every single one of our doctor's appointments (except for two due to work) and for making friends with the lady at the front desk, the ultrasound tech, and all of the nurses :) Thank you for understanding that I needed to hide in our bedroom whenever you cooked dinner during the first trimester so that I wouldn't vomit on the dining room table due to the smell. Thank you for going the extra 80 miles when I was crippled in December ... for dropping me off so that I wouldn't have to walk, for helping me walk to my car every single morning before work, for helping me strap my boot on and take it off, for running errands and doing everything that needed to be done ... and then some.

Thank you for the three bags of Sonic ice in the last three weeks because I have become an addict to anything cold and crunchy. Thank you for telling me every single day how excited you are, that I'm going to be a great mom, and for encouraging me with your texts and calls just to "check in". Thank you for enduring my speeches on how much labor is going to hurt, for attending childbirth class and Lamaze, and for letting me read to you pages out of books that neither of us can remember all that well ten minutes after I have finished reading. Thank you for letting me fall apart in the hall outside the dr.'s office when they told me I had gestational diabetes, and for telling me that we would get through it. Thank you for putting together the baby swing, the video monitor, and for installing the carrier with the help of the fire department (safety first!). Thank you for reminding me that I needed colored pillow cases to bring to the hospital ... and asking where would be a good place to put blue balloons when we bring the baby home :) Thanks for putting together the video camera and for looking again last night just to make sure it was charged and ready to go and for going to Publix and stocking up on snacks and drinks for our houseguests and visitors over the next several weeks.

Thank you most of all that I will never have to explain to this baby boy what a man of honor and integrity looks like, that I will never have to tell him how to treat a lady, that I will never have to explain to him what it looks like to follow hard after Christ. You have become that man, you are that man, and he will have your example as living proof within the walls of our home. It's not something I will have to teach and it's not something he will have to look for ... he can look to you. If there is no greater gift than for children to see a father who honors, respects, and loves their mother, then I would say this is one blessed baby. You give that gift every single day.

Thank you for ten wonderful years of establishing the story of us. I am so glad we had this time to invest in our relationship ... because it's the next generation that will benefit the most.

I love you more than words will ever say and I am so grateful to God that our kids get you as their dad. They hit the jackpot, and they don't even know it yet.

So many adventures, memories and joys to come...

xo, Heather

Happy Hearts

 

Paul and I had a low key Valentine's dinner on

Thursday night at home. And by low key I mean ...

fine china by candlelight ...

...with take-out pizza and blood orange salad from Pi. It

was perfect. We talked about all of the February 14th

dinners we have had over the years and how this might have

been our very favorite. Maybe it's the fact that life as we've

always known it is about to change forever, but it really was

the best.

 



 

My beautiful flowers!

~

xoxoxoxoxo

West Coast Bound

Tomorrow morning, bright and very early, Paul and I are flying to San Francisco. We will spend the next week driving the northern west coast and spending time in Carmel and Monterey, Big Sur, Moss Landing and Pebble Beach before ending our adventure with a few days in SF. We are packing the true essentials ... north face jackets {high of 60 most days}, band-aids, and a mix cd {that a colleague made for me ... which has every song and band about and from San Fran ... think 1967, Summer of Love, hippie-hippie-shake}.

Looking forward to long hikes along the Pacific, whale watching, seafood dives and foodie restaurants, bike rides, the Golden Gate, and sunsets ... mostly, looking forward to experiencing it all with him.

Summer of love, indeed.

Chalkboard Love

...my favorite part about walking in the door

after being gone for days on end?

~

The fact that I come home to him.

And Then There Were Six

...years, that is. And all I know for sure is that love just

grows and grows and grows, and marriage gets better

and better and better ... with each passing day.

~

Love is ... a many splendored thing.

May, And Dinner

The first of May. This is one of my favorite times of year and I'm so glad that we chose this month to get married. Because May, to me, means happiness ... lots of sunshine, graduations and weddings and parties, the beginning of summer ... happy, happy memories woven from the good times. Enjoying padding around barefoot tonight, typing by the window as the sun sets, talking to Paul as he makes dinner ... and all while eating my own ... perfectly ripe strawberries.

Love.

This Kind Of Love

Saturday, cold and rainy, overcast. Morning and early afternoon … a 2nd birthday party and lunch with a dear friend. Trip to the library to hunt down the first pick of book club … didn’t find it, but did find a memoir. Grin. Evening … white chicken chili and lazy magnolia southern pecan. Conversation with my husband who makes dinner nearly every night because he likes to cook {his therapy}, and while he cooks, I like to write {mine}.

After a week of endless deadlines and going in a different direction nearly every night my perfect place is right here, right now … with him.

I love the married-ness of our life together. How it happens over time … growing and changing and making you better from the inside out … learning what it’s like to know and to be known and to always have a friend on your side. I love that the things that used to drive us mad and away from each other, no longer do so. We’ve learned the art of respect. We’ve softened our hearts. We’ve come a long way in nine years, and I love the now so much that it makes me long for the now of nine years away. Because when you invest and love something enough, it gets better ... it grows. That’s this kind of love.

And I love this kind of love.

On Marriage

A colleague emailed me this picture this morning. It was taken on Friday afternoon, right after work … we went to cheer on another co-worker’s three year old at her soccer game. And by the way, three year old soccer is where it’s at … hilarious :)

I opened up the photo on my desktop and thought, I love him so much.

Marriage is hard-won, but worth it. There are hard days, amazing days … days that are not about making you happier, but holier. It might sound a bit pompous, but it’s true. There is no relationship in all the world that forces you to love in the way that Christ loves {the church}, like marriage.

Marriage has forced me from myself in a lot of ways. It has stretched me, grown me, fulfilled me … and in a world that gives up too quickly and too easily on the institution of marriage, I want to be holding up a sign on a certain golden anniversary that proclaims in both word and deed, worth it.

A Sunrise Delivery, & Love

This morning ... I woke up all alone in a hotel room a thousand miles away from home ... and Paul. It was a teensy bit sad as today was the big five year anniversary, but just as I was talking myself out of the pit, housekeeping was banging down my door. It was 7 a.m. and I was on the verge of yelping, who cleans rooms at the crack of dawn?? But soon enough, I learned she wasn't there to clean ... she was there to deliver a fedex package that had been overnighted from Memphis. And inside? An anniversary card :)

I was picked up airport curbside around 7ish and we dined in Cooper-Young at Beauty Shop ... I had the honey glazed lamb and blue cheese and scallion fingerling potatoes. It was all you could hope for it to be, and then some.

Sometimes, when you least expect it ... life really gives you a moment. Not always a fairytale, not always perfection, but blissful nonetheless. It's when you can look across the table and clink your glasses together and say, I really love you more than words, that makes the moment ... and it's all the bells, whistles and happily ever after you need.

Kind Of Like That Game ... Telephone

Paul and I were talking about some chapters from the John Piper book we were discussing in small group on the way home tonight {and he was in the kitchen getting dessert when the discussion on condemnation began and apparently missed it altogether ... because this is how it went down on the way home} ...

Me: I liked what Jess was saying about condemnation ...
Paul {while looking at me very strangely}: Huh?? What was she saying? I don't get it?
Me: What's not to get about condemnation? The chapter we were reading?? Con-dem-na-tion...
Paul {now beginning to laugh}: ... I thought you were saying Condom Nation

And then we got hysterical. Because I'm picturing his face all over again when I started out with "I liked what Jess was saying about ..."

:)

A January Love Letter

Dear Paul Bruce,

I’m sorry I scared you with my screams at midnight (thanks a million Atlanta airport delay), but as you well know … my jeep was hanging off the edge of the cliff on the exit ramp. You know Florida girls don’t do ice so well [although I did feel better knowing I didn’t crash into the semi, like the cars in front of me and behind me did. Gulp.] Thank you for driving to get me, parking on ice, walking, I mean, skating across a very icy Germantown Parkway…and then down an icier ramp to get in Jill the Jeep and drive us both to safety. You’re my hero.

I love you.

One, Two

Two things:

One. I want a table this long and this wide in my home some day. I just love the idea of massive tables … and fresh flowers. And food. {photo compliments of Mary Ruffle}.

Two. I feel like a seven year old. PB and I went to the new Memphis Greenline on Sunday to ride bikes {and it’s gorgeous and fun and miles of nature and exercise}, but it’s also a zoo, as in, everyone and their mom’s best friend is also biking, jogging, walking slower than molasses …which leads to why I feel like a seven year old. I’m missing an entire patch of skin on my right knee due to a crash and burn type scenario on the ole bike. It’s one thing to do this type of thing in the comfort of your own driveway in elementary school, but it’s something entirely different as a 27 year old in the middle of the aforementioned zoo.

Bookstore Dramatics, Etc.

It was a terrible idea for me to begin reading Nancy Brinker’s (sister of the late Susan G. Komen) new book in the middle of the store today. I mean, terrible idea. I just casually picked it up to read the inside cover…and then I got all involved and by involved I mean: reading different chapters + bawling my eyes out + placing the book back on the shelf with tear stains on the pages…and walking out a weepy mess.

Involved.

Best part of Saturday was the pumpkin spice creamer in my coffee + a trip to Sheffield’s out in Collierville…it is one of the greatest antique malls ever and I could stay in that place for hours upon hours. I rarely go because nearly everything I see begs me to b-u-y…and there are only so many china teacups and linens and gorgeous mahogany dressers one girl can have. And according to Paul Bruce…I maxed my limit at the age of seventeen. Ahh, that boy loves me so much ;)

He Gets Me

We had a great weekend at the lake … lots of family, good food, time on the water, and fun. We watched the fireworks from the deck on the 3rd, so on the 4th we climbed in bed and watched the Macy’s fireworks in NYC. Oh my. I said, “that one was my very favorite” not short of 38 different times. They were so cool! And then I bawled because they were singing the usual patriotic fare and Paul just smiled. He knows he married a sentimental sally.

On our way home from the lake we took a new route and I loved it. Scenic two-lane highways are on my list of favorite things. My first favorite on the way home {which wasn’t part of the new route, but is a part of the drive that I l-o-v-e nonetheless} was Hazel, Kentucky. It can’t even be a dot on the map, because I swear if you close your eyes and count to three you’re already in the next town. So keep your eyes open because little ole Hazel is a real feast … little antique stores and the Magnolia Tea Room and black-eyed susans. My second favorite on the way home {which was part of the new route} was downtown Huntingdon. It goes something like this … we’re driving along when I suddenly see antebellum pillars and hydrangeas and white clapboard, and no less than yelp loud enough to scare us both, “SLOW down…” Just so I can get a good long look.

And the driver at the helm of this very long and winding scenic route? He’s very patient and gracious. He slows down to a snails pace.

He gets me.

Happy hot & wonderful July!

p.s. I’m leaving for Tuscaloosa on Thursday morning for a business trip … does anyone know a quick route from Memphis? If so … please email me. xo

Oh, To Be Young And So In Like

Any well seasoned married person knows the day comes that you love your spouse, but quite frankly, you don’t like them. Paul and I have had many of those days. Sometimes it’s me, sometimes it’s him. When you wake up next to someone, go to sleep beside them, brush your teeth in the same flipping sink … it’s bound to happen. Perfecting the art of togetherness.

There are also days {and let’s hope these make up the majority} when you think that you really love this person, and holy pillar of smoke, you like them too. A lot.

I get up early on Saturdays … sometimes to run, sometimes to sit. This morning I got up early to sit. I had to drag my leopard snuggie in from the bedroom, and then curled up in my favorite toile chair in pitch darkness to sit and drink my coffee. It’s like my own tiny piece of heaven.

If you were to ask Paul if this was his heaven, he might humor you. Most likely he would roll his eyes so far back in his head one might think they’d get stuck {this is what my mother always said about eye rolling anyway, “if you do that again, your eyes will be stuck just like that and you’ll be forced to go the rest of your life with rolled eyes…” parent scare tactics work like that}.

You see, Paul prefers light and noise to my dark and quiet … and the tube {and for those who don’t speak our language, this is slang for television, yes, yes, you’re welcome, I know you’re feeling infinitely smarter for having learned this} early and loudly. As in, strolling in from the bedroom, grabbing the remote … and channel surfing. Because there’s lots of quality television for those over the age of five at 8 a.m. on a Saturday.

All of this leading to a cold hard fact of life: in one swell swoop, husband and light and the loud tube have smacked my heaven right to {where else?} hell.

This morning, however, husband came in after I had been sitting in silence for a few and sat on the couch. Didn’t swing for the lights, didn’t touch the remote. Just sat and talked to me. It was like this gigantic peace offering being extended when there was nothing to make peace about.

And somewhere in that dark heaven of the living room this Saturday morning, I fell in like with him all over again.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For ...

The neighborhood TCBY has a special going on … “waffle cone Wednesdays.” PB and I were out and about running errands tonight and in the spirit of summer and spontaneity I suggested we drop by.

Important to note: in seven years I have never seen Paul Bruce eat an ice cream cone. He says that in past lives it was always a disaster, and if you can picture him as a kid {yes, the one who got his entire arm stuck in a movie theater cup holder}, you would understand.

I digress.

Tonight we drop in and after I order my waffle cone with white chocolate mousse soft serve style {mmmm}, Paul speaks up. He orders a waffle cone too. I tried not to make a big deal, didn’t want to make a scene in front of the teeny bopper behind the counter {WHAT? What??! This is a first!} … so I played it cool :)

Fast forward two minutes. We get back in the car, and as we’re pulling out of the parking lot, I look over at Paul … who is staring at his lap … where the entire scoop of ice cream has fallen out of the cone … and now … resides. It was stunned silence for him. As for me?

I howled laughing the entire way home.

Summing It Up

If you were to ask me what I’ve learned in the last {almost} four years of my married life … the following quote by John Eldredge {from the book Love and War} sums it up to a T. Paul and I are both first born children … so you can only imagine … :)
~
We are, all of us, utterly committed and devoted to our style, our way, our approach to life. We have absolutely no intention of giving it up. Not even for love. So God creates an environment where we have to. It’s called … marriage. –JE